One stress-less weekend and i'm back to normal again. wheeeeeeee....

Retail therapy has got me smiling again. :)

The test on saturday was a killer. BUt shall shove it behind and look to the future of the other three more papers to come in the next two to three weeks.

Anyway! I finally saw my darl cher and yans once again yesterday! Was grappling with post test trauma, but oh well it was a well spent afternoon cum night. Had a good dinner at olio dome minus the stomachache part, then went and bought yet another hair clip (haha) and a pair of jeans from the new shop forever 21. Heeeheeheehee.

So, I went to church this morning after a long long stagnating period, and attended a bible class too which was fairly interesting plus mel was there to provide entertainment about how her ocs social night went, and then i went to IMM with mum. Things are fine now and i had a great day out with her. I guess this all the frustration just goes in circles. Sometimes we're so happy together sometimes it's just total get off my back kinda thing, but i love her all the same. :)

Plus, I bought myself a MP3 player cum fm radio cum thumb drive that is 512MB!! Haha from creative. I wanted to buy just an fm radio to replace my present crappy one so that times at the library won;t be so boring plus i have something to listen to aside from the snoring at night, then the girl introduced this relaly nice and sleek light weight three in one thingy so i got so captivated by it i bought it. Hahahaha....

THEN, i come home and realise that oh geez my lao peh lappy here at home, has no thumb drive. -moans away- looks like i'll really go invest in a fujitsu s series lifebook now. then i can bring it to uni and surf the net and type my assignments out all in the conducive atmosphere of the library.

Aside from my three in one device, We had a great lunch at the all time favourite Baystreet and we bought a fan and vacuum cleaner. Haha it's so funny looking at the salesman whilst he promotes all available vacuum cleaners. heh.

That probably sums up why i had such a great today. Mum bought Shrek 2 as well so i'm gonna watch it with her later nad have a good laugh. This coming week is gonna be study intensive week cum library hibernation. Sigh I have to sort my notes out later as well and come up with a good study plan.

Three weeks will fly by fast, then i can resume work at the esplanade and perhaps work at mum's office if her boss is accepting of a accounts idiot girl to be a stand in accounts assistant. Haha... And I'll have time to catch up with everyone then!!! I haven't seen sunita in a million years, Tanya will be down in end nov and hopefully janice would be back in december.

Then there's anne.anne! and jason whom i've not seen for quite awhile too... and though i just saw yans and cher yesterday i'd love to see them once again, and I want to go swimming with cher!

Mimi, magaret and i have planned out a karaoke day, haha as well as go buy the emi fujita soundtrack and once the exams are over, I am just about one month away from the trip to Japan. Wheeeee......

Snapping back to the here and now, I shall go sort all my notes out. -smiles away-

Frustrated and bloody pissed OFF.

And i know i shouldn't be because after all she went through the pains of child birth and gave birth to yours truly here but she makes me so upset I want to throw my hands up in the air and tell her i've had enough so how bout i move out into a friggin hall though school is just 15 mins away.

Have you ever had the experience of having to listen to someone's snoring when you're already so laden the stress of having to complete the assignment by the next morning and it's already 1am? Well it tugs at my heart with each elevation of her breathing which produces a whole range of "vocals" and i know she doesn't want it this way either that she has to bunk in with me and be bothered by the sound of my typing every single night. Which is by all means fair and square because i have my own set of problems to deal with so I'll just live with the snoring and try to focus.

BUT, as it is I am already highly stressed out about the possibility of not being able to meet the deadline. She has to wake up in the dead of the night, mutter some form of irritating noise which sounds like this. "angie it's already so late and you're still doing your work. MUST BE LAST MINUTE again isn't it. -shakes head and goes back to sleep-" great. Does she presume i was unaware of my own predicament or does she just want to rub salt into the already split open wound. That's not all, because the snoring resumes in less than 10 seconds and with an even more heated up than before mood i get back to furious typing.

So anyway that was last night's issue and it dissolved by morning because i was too tired anyway having slept for about three hours in a bid to study for my geog test amidst rushing the assignment out. So i go to school for a mad rush day and i feel so bad for my totally bad sense of management. I had forgotten to reply mimi in my rush to get a com in the com lab and she had sat on the big table for nothing cos she was so nice to book the seat for me. I was unable to have lunch with her nor sarah because i was stuck in the com lab and there was such a long queue to print the damn thing.

When it was all done i came home and took a nap which i felt would have been good so that tonight would be yet another long night to study for the major english test coming up tomorrow. I think she called when i was sleeping but i can't remember what she said. So anyway she came home with dinner just now and we just about nearly started a big fight.

Which is just such a great start after feeling all groggy from my nap. She asked me how my geog test was. So i said oh er i got a 22 out of 30. And she said "WHAT, that's so lousy. You've got EIGHT wrong!" -blood starts to boil- and that's not it. She goes on to ask me "so what time did you study till last night, or rather what time did you msn till?" And i cannot take it anymore. My eyes start to swell and i sit down to eat my dinner in silence. I just don't understand why is it that people always see the negative side of things. Why must she harp on the eight that were wrong instead of the 22 that were right. Why is it that i am in such a shithole and there's nowhere to run.

Sometimes i really wish i had an overseas education instead. Because right now, it's really f.u.c.k everything.

I never expected uni to conjure so much stress and it's sucking me away even faster than I could ever imagine. I don't even know how to handle myself anymore.

She invaded my room and I am going to MOVE OUT OF MY ROOM during this hols before i make things worse by lashing back out at her in a moment of angst and accumulated displeasure. THAT, would probably jeopardize my own life and should be avoided.

Note to myself: keep it calm and focus on tomorrow's test instead.

or can someone please just tape her mouth up for the time being, till i'm in a better mood to deal with the atrocities of her chosen form of language.

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I am drinking milk this morning. How weird. Haha... sis would know i don't usually drink milk on its own at all. :) But I opened the fridge this morning and couldn't find anything for breakfast so thus i'm stuck with milk. Hope it helps my complexion as well. Been trying to regulate my sleep a little to qingqing style. Haha... sleep before 12 and wake up at 8. I guess the recent pimple outbreak has taught me a big lesson of having ample rest and enough water. Just hope that those idiotic zits will stop popping out.

Sigh. I have no class today but am heading down to the niw lib nonetheless. Mimi and magaret are gonna be there so i might as well go and make sure I settle all my basic counselling stuff today. Being the queen of all procrastinators, I had successfully pushed back the completion of this assignment though the deadline had been extended. Sigh sometimes i wonder how i can still remain calm when there's only such a short period of time left to do ALOT.

Time to pump up the stress adrenalin again then, and i shall, persevere all the way till the end of the exams!!! I shall NOT, be a dropout of NIE.

cheers!

Escapism.

I am not going for Shirley's lesson in the morning tmr. But should i happen to bump into her when i appear for geog class, say a little prayer for me please, thank you.

Upon appearing in CCK again today, my eyes couldn't help but give a quick dart here and there to ensure there were no familiar faces of any past student. Haha i think it has become a natural thing to do. But anyway, I got my supply of shiseido products up and running again. hahaha.. i'm now a member of shiseido! And i hope it'll help salvage the horrendous outbreak i presently have.

And so what the heck am i talking about here in my post i have no idea. Haha i'm like mentioning such mundane stuff but oh well that's all there is in the current situation of having to sit in front of the com to type an outline.

Aye... I just completed my geog report. Wahhahhaha *smirk*

Oh wells I had a good time doing research with qingqing this afternoon. It's like she knows how to get the resources and so basically we work really well together because she gets all the info and i just consolidate it and take down the important stuffs. And so we get really focussed and work is done in the fastest time possible leaving us with some breathing space to laugh and joke at suitable intervals. :)

That's what constituted to a good day today. We made a pact to try and finish out assignments way ahead of time so that we can edit each others and have time to just slack off instead of always having to do last minute rushes to meet the deadline. haha which I have suffered from the after effects of the above situation, and that is i am currently undergoing the worst pimple breakout in my entire face history. argh.

My camera produces pictures with an orangey ring around the eyes and it looks so gaudy. eek eek.

I am a tad disturbed about something. but, -shoves it aside-

Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Monday was perhaps the worst day of my life. I think i could have just about cried and bawled my eyes off in front of her because she was such a meanie. She actually started yelling at me before i could even sit down because the idiot brain of mine had completely forgotten about having to produce an outline. So i went there with my draft for survival and i didn't manage to survive. She just devestated my entire day and threw me into black mode.

But oh wells anyway i've recovered slightly from the depths of depression. Haha my mood changes like the weather ain't it! All thanks to the fruitful day i had yest. Woke up and went to the lib, and finished part 1 of my basic counselling assignment, then went for geog class and back to the lib again to do my geog tutorial. Haha... this time i sat with sarah and her potential. *raises eyebrows* and i got back my geog essay which was not too bad. To top off the great day, i had 2 oatmeal raisin cookies. The perfect remedy to expel any tinge of a bad mood. :)))

So, I'm still walking on sunshine today!! heh. Ah hean is still sleeping, so when she awakes we shall go have mcdees for breakfast and that will set the right tone for the day. :) Haha i'm so easily contented with food right.. She's crazy.. I was talking to a friend last night when an incoming phone call came in on my hp, so i said hold on to my friend and ah hean picked up the phone and said, "i'm the commercial break now" hahaha!!!! nut.

Shall go get started on my part 2 of the assignment and get it done by today. Gotta give tuition in the afternoon though. But, cheers to a brand new day everyone!!!! If anything ever gets you down, may you always be able to find something that will give you comfort immediately. Take care!!!!

My so-called retail theraphy ended with only a measly clip and aching legs. I was indecisive about getting the pair of mng jeans as well as the polo ralph top and in the end there was insufficient time to go back and get them. arrgggh.

So therefore as i sit here today, i am unsatisfied. I am extremely unpleased with myself for having not made good use of time once again. I worked like a bull last night to complete my cem essay and thus I am doing some form of major editing now because there is a need to correct my sweeping statements and incoherent typing.

Grandma and company have left to take a bus which will bring them back to KL. The past few days have been busy but fun nonetheless just catching up especially with Kelly. Her high pitched "plleasseee!!!!" never fails to send me into a spastic state of shock though. Haha..

Sometimes I'm just unclear with what's up with myself. I feel so insecure and just downright depressed. One big pimple popped out on my once flawless cheek and i have to report for work tonight with that zit on my face. Only consolation would have to be that there's mimi and shell there tonight for company. *crosses fingers that i'll get to work at the same door with one of them* or even better still all 3 of us work at stalls area. hahaha... in which that possibility is almost near zilch.

Did i mention that i was going to watch winnie the pooh!!?? Haha yah but my excitement for it is dying fast. perhaps it'll pick up again when the date draws near.

But meanwhile, I am still depressed, depressed, and even more depressed.

Dysfunctional.

I had a nap this afternoon but my eyes still droop as 11 comes by. But i'll survive through these sleepy times and strive to complete at least half my essay by tonight!!

You know it's like this point in time where you feel this essay ain't worth putting so much effort into because she's gonna bring my ideas down anyway so i might as well just come up with 1300 words so that i can say i did my homework but perhaps my flow of thought wasn't that great.

In fact it's never great. Sigh.. I've been so tired i think i lapse out into pockets of dreaming throughout the day. Or maybe I'm just giving myself an excuse to explain for my lack of full attention. But i mean i have so many things to worry about it's killing me. I think about how i'm going to tell them to bloody hell stop bothering me, I think about how i'm going to cough a 16 page 3 part essay out by next sat, I think about how shirley is going to blow my head off again on monday, I think about my grammar test and geog test that is coming up on the same week, I think about the report i'm going to have to generate on the fieldtrip by the week after next, and i think about, you.

which is just wrong. arrrgghh but you, just stick around in my head.

Well i'm just glad kel is here! hahahahah we're going for mcdees breakfast tmr, then some retail theraphy in the afternoon. Dad is organising a steamboat at home at night so we'll be back home at night. Hopefully i'll be able to satisfy my unbalanced mind with some good buys.

Just BUMMER, that i have to go to school tomorrow.

In all wonders of a miracle, GOD spoke to me through church service and gave me renewed strength to carry on.

I wanted to leap off my chair in sheer amazement when the pastor touched on all issues that had been bothering me. My slow-forming perception of the church being a cult, and objection from parents. Matters that I thought about for days when my mum found out and exploded. And how i was contemplating being a really meanie and tell one of the church people off because she was bothering me too much.

And he gave me the time off i needed away from all schoolwork when i went for church service. Now i'm even more convinced in my journey with god, and I'm very clear about what i want in my religion. I'll probably never go back to that church again, and i don't really care anymore if those people think i'm some idiot. I do not want to associate with them anymore and i shall not.

Well, right now i just want to go into a cave and hibernate there till i get all my work done. I'm doing some finishing touches to my geog essay and I've gotta start making my rep work, the card. Guess tonight is gonna be yet another late night wrap up for me. The past few nights have been so taxing, I forsee a more-than-12-hour collapse on the bed once tomorrow is over. Which brings me to my next evaluating point. Should i go for tennis tmr?

Haha.... Dr chatt picked on qingqing and i today and qing was particularly upset as she was already not in a good mood in the first place. I just thought that Dr chatt was downright moody herself. But whatever i don't give a hoot. What's the most pissing is when people tell us nie trainees.. "you're going to be a teacher in the future and you exhibit such behaviour" Well excuse me, but no teacher is perfect.

I worked with mimi last friday!!!!!! -one of my best espla nights- haha but we had this really fierce venue officer so we gripped each other in fear. I had the walkie somemore. haha we actually were lucky enough to work at the same door.. what a stroke of luck! cos mimi's "Fav" usher was working as well and it's damn funny whenever she talks and mimi gives a genuine roll of the eyes. classic.

WOoooo... my KL relatives are coming this wed. perfect. I need to see them to get some sanity back.

-down with all homework!- whoever invented the word homework anyway? Haha and why has homework been renamed assignment in uni terms. I still like to call my homework, homework.

God bless. :)

I was supposed to have produced one more paragraph for my geog essay but I'm procrastinating (as usual).

Ok not that I procrastinated alot or something but i just thought I'd give myself a bit of a break since i successfully completed my quotas for yesterday and today. So there goes my worry over the representative work, and for today's presentation, and partially my cem outline has been done. Just need to tweak it a little, and prepare for yet another shelling. It requires psychological preparation.

Was talking to sis last night, and am just glad she's alright already.. Though everything is eye-popping expensive, she'll survive!!! Haha see i went and opened a few other internet windows and now my chain of thought is lost.

Oh well dammit man can you just leave my life alone. -scowls-

Tmr's frrrriiday!! or rather today is frriday!!!!! :)

Let's hope i wake up to a cheery morning. Meanwhile, i need to -bang.you.out.of.my.head-

Sigh.

I ran and ran and ran all the way back, hurled everything to the floor but yet i was, too late.

#@~@!~@!#!@#! they opened registration early today.

I am damn damn damn. stressed. With the multiculturalism presentation underway and due next week, i just hope it turns out all fine and nothing will screw up.

Above that the human geog essay is starting to give me a P.O.U.N.D.I.N.G headache. and what gives me suicide tendencies is, none other than critical reading and writing. Mention the name shirley to me and I'll do the fastest 100m sprint you've ever seen.

ARGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! math tutorial, my representative work and there's a geog field trip this saturday followed by a report that has to be submitted based on the field trip.

I shall wallow in self pity tonight and hope someone will come and salvage my soul.

-sobs-

dear sis, i hope you're doing fine. take care.

I cannot thank mimi enough. She just sent me an example of an APA style of referencing and it's gonna make my just-kill-me bibliography quite a breeze.. thanks again babe!!-hugs-

Well now that the bibliography is settled, I've gotta move onto the research propsal which i can already forsee a screaming shirley in my face. oh bummer.

I've fully recovered from a hectic yesterday! haha... I had to wake up at 5am to have a short meet-up with sis at the airport, then i went to school and did my basic counselling presentation with some fellow group members, then zoomed off for a hair-ripping english grammar test, and lastly reporting for work at the esplanade where i had to double up 2 positions. But I came back and had a good rest plus mask treatment at night so i'm all rejuvenated this morning.

well i'm just glad yesterday is over... one of the most hectic days i've had. I mean I'd really rather stay at home, lie on my bed, listen to some nice music and read a book. But anyway the wake up at 5 was worth it.. seeing sis again after 3 months was great. guess she ain't exactly having a rosy time in japan, but hang in there ya!!!

I watched the emperor's new clothes yest at the theatre studio.. and the kids were so spontaneouly cute! sigh... one hunk-of-a-dad brought his adorable son to the play and i wanted to abduct the both of them together. I want to watch more more more mamma mia shows!!!! haha am hungry for the songs. wheeee..... my next event is gonna be rachmaninov(i hope i spelt it correctly)'s piano concerto. hope to see you there yans!!!!! and hope i don't get bag check or ticket tripping cos it'd REALLY be a bummer then.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello.